Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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