You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Randomize
