Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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