I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
And the cops told us we were all naked.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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