you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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