Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
