No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
