I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
