I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
