I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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