fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Sorry about my life...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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