Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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