Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
