You smell like stripper and shame
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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