Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
