I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize