Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize