she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
