I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
