false alarm. still invincible.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize