Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
