I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
