I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
