Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
i think im in europe. pls send help
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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