a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
NoShamevember. You game?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
