i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
