my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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