i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I will be naked everywhere
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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