Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
