no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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