i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
