I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
i now understand why vodka
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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