She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize