thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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