No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize