We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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