**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize