I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I have aggressive nipples.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
