I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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