even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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