told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
