All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
