Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
