my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I got inside last night via doggy door
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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