I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
