Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
