i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
