she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
