I am puke
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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