I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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