Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
