big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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