happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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