maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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