You're earring is so big in my mouth
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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