is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
