Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
