He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
