I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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