i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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