My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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