I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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