I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
