It's Friday. Sex?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
do nipples grow back?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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