god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
