careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I feel like abortions should bother me more
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
