If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
is this the sara with the beer cane?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
