No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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