i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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