p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
