I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize