I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
