Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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