fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
pop tarts are not kleenex
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
