I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
