It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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