i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
