sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
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